Friday, January 21, 2011

I feel cheated

Over a week ago Hailey woke up in the middle of the night flailing limbs everywhere. She wouldn't settle down, she wouldn't nurse and she didn't want to be held. I was uneasy to keep trying to nurse her because she had bit me twice that evening and giggled maniacally. We lovingly called her our devil child because she seemed possessed doing things completely out of character.  Eric actually took her for a walk in the stroller in the cold. All that work and she was out at the end of the road.
In the morning I dropped V off at school and brought Hailey to the CLSC to see a doctor. Call me crazy but I just wanted to make sure nothing was physically wrong. Once I got there,  I found out that there were no more doctors for the day. The receptionist saw the look of despair on my face and suggested I talk to the secretary for Hailey's paediatrician. I went over and pleaded my case and the secretary called the doctor to tell her Hailey wasn't nursing and was biting. I could sense the doctor wasn't sure what she was suppose to do so I asked the secretary to ask if the doctor could just check her ears.
The doctor was kind enough to see Hailey while she was seeing another patient. I had that horrible feeling when you hope something's wrong so you feel validated and hopeful for a resolution. The doctor took one look in her ears and said they were really red and no wonder she's miserable and not nursing. She prescribed drops, antibiotics and pain medication. I was sad she was in pain but grateful to have answers.
Since then, I've been pumping milk everyday except Monday where my pump broke. Christine came to my rescue Tuesday and brought me hers. I was thankful. I've been pumping 4 times a day and get about 6oz per day. What scares me is that I've been able to freeze some because Hailey's just not taking it. I think tomorrow we'll be trying to give it to her in a cup because bottles aren't her thing. One night she drank a whole 4 oz at 5am just to throw it all up at 7:30.
I think I'm going to throw in the towel and give her formula. She's napping pretty well. She's slept through the night twice this week but she must be dehydrated. The little girl that was always happy is no longer a morning person and gets really cranky at dinner time.  She needs to be entertained all the time. One thing we have noticed is that she’s extra cuddly these days. Until this week, I was never able to rock her to sleep but now she does it willingly. It’s really lovely but unlike her and it worries me.

We’ll see how I feel in the morning… Eric is home on paternity leave for the next 3 weeks. Hailey turns 10 months next week.

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